All the parenting and child psychology books in the world, in my opinion, can’t really prepare you for that moment when your child is in full tantrum mode as you were already on the verge of losing it before its onset. Or even more so, when my son imagines that welcoming the entire world into ours will somehow help manifest what he wants. Everything I’ve read and learned goes out the window as I am flooded with thoughts of inadequacy. And if I don’t check in with myself in the moment, I could easily loose myself.
This week in particular seemed to be one of testing. My patience was running thin as my emotions had been shifting from one extreme to the next. And yes! I took time outs, practiced my breathing techniques, did my body scans; you name it, I probably did it as a form of intervention but, I was not addressing what was at the core. So, what was going on? Did I unbeknownst to me become so occupied that the pressures of “busyness” began to catch up with me? Sometimes, we get ourselves so distracted with “work” that we don’t realize when our plate is overflowing. This is especially true when facing changes and adjusting to lives’ demands.
This morning I allowed myself to truly embody all that has been going on for me, especially with my emotions. I created a sacred space of nurturance and self-love with an internal reassurance that this was just an experience and I was okay. I was able to “simply notice” what was going on for me in the moment; in my body, my environment, my thoughts and habits. A technique I learned from the book, Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprising Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way by Rick Carson. I gave myself permission to allow the experience, release what was not serving my highest good and replacing it with my truths.
Many times, we tend to judge ourselves by what we perceive to be the judgment from others or even the judgment of our spirituality. Only when we give ourselves permission to truly experience what’s going on for us in the moment and put each thought in the proper compartments (how my child sees me, how I think my child sees me, how strangers see me, how I think strangers see me, how God sees me, how I think God sees me and on and on, depending on how many compartments we are dealing with) then we can get to our own thoughts and sort out what’s really going on for us.
After spending time in my sacred space, I realized that I needed to prioritize things in my life. I had to decide what could stay and what had to go and figure out what things matter to me the most and need my immediate attention and what things could simply wait. I also had to come to terms with the changes I’m experiencing right now in my life (changes at work and changes in my family structure) and the need to make room emotionally and psychologically for the adjustments.
Parenting is the most challenging “job” one can have, but it is also by far the most rewarding and loving “job” one can have. Wholeness, stability and above all love are the skills needed to fulfill the job requirements. At least for those of us who yearn to thrive and grow as parents. When these skills are unbalanced it affects how we respond to our world, especially to our children. Therefore, it is essential that we check in with ourselves and take inventory of how we are showing up in the world; emotional, psychologically and physically. If we don’t like what we uncover, it is a good time to create a sacred space and do the work. Give yourself some time to get to the core of what’s going on for you, simply notice it without judging yourself. Allow yourself to fully experience what’s going on for you in your body, your environment and in your internal world (your mind/thoughts), then release those things that do not serve your highest good and replace them with your truths.
Evolving Mind, Body and Soul 